Mhm...

I don't know what happened to me today.. I just felt really down in science then at lunch I didn't feel like eating at all. Don't you ever feel like being replaced and all your friends are turning against you? Like.. you've known your friends almost your whole entire life and someone just comes up and takes them away from you? Idk why I started crying at recess today. Maybe because I felt like I actually had friends that really cared about me.. So maybe it was happy crying? O.o Well. Either way Im glad that I have some friends that actually cared about me.. I feel like a cry baby right now >.<

True friends? -_______________________-"

I find myself staring at the clock and I don't even know why. Maybe its because 2010 isn't going the way I wanted it to go. I guess I shouldn't have high hopes about it. I thought that 2009 was bad enough already, that I already learned my lesson and that it would get better. I guess I was wrong. If I had to make a list of my worst days ever, today would be one of the tops. I felt that none of my friends liked me anymore. That they would start making fun of me. I wanted to cry, but I was at school. I didn't want to hear people asking me why I was crying. Because either way, I couldn't tell them why. I wanted to tell someone and vent it all out to, but there was no one I could trust. No one I could depend on to cheer me up. Sometimes I wonder if you can really find a true friend that wouldn't make fun of you. That would stop saying things that are none of their business. A friend that is always there through thick and thin, and through ups and downs. Pretty much a friend that you can depend on no matter what. I don't think I'm one of the lucky ones that would have a true friend. There are so many things that I want to say to my friends but I don't have the courage to say it. I feel like a person that doesn't really have friends. Just some that will forget her later on in life. If they were my friends they would know. They would know that I don't like jokes, they would know that I'm a very gullible person. They would know that I wouldn't take things lightly right now.. When everything in my life is all messed up. They would know. I guess they don't though, because I wasn't myself at the last 3 periods at school today. I guess they thought it was something else that was bothering me, but it was just them.