Mhm...

I don't know what happened to me today.. I just felt really down in science then at lunch I didn't feel like eating at all. Don't you ever feel like being replaced and all your friends are turning against you? Like.. you've known your friends almost your whole entire life and someone just comes up and takes them away from you? Idk why I started crying at recess today. Maybe because I felt like I actually had friends that really cared about me.. So maybe it was happy crying? O.o Well. Either way Im glad that I have some friends that actually cared about me.. I feel like a cry baby right now >.<

True friends? -_______________________-"

I find myself staring at the clock and I don't even know why. Maybe its because 2010 isn't going the way I wanted it to go. I guess I shouldn't have high hopes about it. I thought that 2009 was bad enough already, that I already learned my lesson and that it would get better. I guess I was wrong. If I had to make a list of my worst days ever, today would be one of the tops. I felt that none of my friends liked me anymore. That they would start making fun of me. I wanted to cry, but I was at school. I didn't want to hear people asking me why I was crying. Because either way, I couldn't tell them why. I wanted to tell someone and vent it all out to, but there was no one I could trust. No one I could depend on to cheer me up. Sometimes I wonder if you can really find a true friend that wouldn't make fun of you. That would stop saying things that are none of their business. A friend that is always there through thick and thin, and through ups and downs. Pretty much a friend that you can depend on no matter what. I don't think I'm one of the lucky ones that would have a true friend. There are so many things that I want to say to my friends but I don't have the courage to say it. I feel like a person that doesn't really have friends. Just some that will forget her later on in life. If they were my friends they would know. They would know that I don't like jokes, they would know that I'm a very gullible person. They would know that I wouldn't take things lightly right now.. When everything in my life is all messed up. They would know. I guess they don't though, because I wasn't myself at the last 3 periods at school today. I guess they thought it was something else that was bothering me, but it was just them.

A new start ;D

Lol.. Imma miss 2009 =] Won't you? Even though I had some ups and downs in 2009, it taught me a lot.. And right now, I'd say it was the best year I've ever had. I met friends that I know I will remember for life, I've learned a lot of lessons in 2009. I can't wait for 2010 because it will give me a new start in everything.. I've made a lot of mistakes in 2009 that I really wish I hadn't done.. >.< But, I learned from them.. That's a good thing =] Learning from your mistakes. So in 2010, hopefully I won't make those mistakes again.. And if I do make a mistake, I'll learn from it, and make sure it doesn't happen again :D Lalalalala.. So in the end 2010 would be a good year for me to start "clean". I have a lot of New Years Resolutions that I still need to do..

I dont care anymore

You missed my 13th birthday. You told me you wouldn't.

You said you'd be back on the 27th of November.. What is it now? December 29th.

Then I heard you would be back on the 27th of December. I was happy.. I guess. But then you didn't come back. Now you say somewhere in March? Idk. that's what I heard. You know what? I don't think I care anymore. Because either way its not gonna make a difference. Its not gonna change anything at all. Whenever you call I dont wanna talk to you because it would make me cry. I dont like people that always break their promises. Do you know how much I freakin miss you? I guess it doesn't matter. Even if you don't know that Im crying a lot while writing this. You won't know. Because you don't know this blog. Even if you did, would you even call me? Psh. I don't think so at all. Sometimes you should ask me for my opinion on stuff, even though I'm a kid and I don't know a lot about life. I have feelings too. And some nights I cry myself to sleep because I have no one to talk to about whats happening in my life. But I guess you don't know that at all. You think I'm fine? xP. Even if I dont show my real feelings that doesn't mean I don't have any. Right now, I dont think I care if you don't come back anymore. Because I can't find the courage to talk to you, or even look at you anymore.

I am thankful for..

Haha.. This was one of my classwork.. But then it was fun so i made another one at home. Here it is.. Kinda short. Haha..

I am thankful..
…For my haters
Because then I know I have lovers
…For crying every night
Because I know someone will cheer me up
…For all the liars
Because then I would know who to trust
…For being ignored
Because I know one day someone will come along
…For a name
Because I know I am alive
…For people that cant cheer me up
Because the special someone will
…For not loving
Because someone will go and prove me wrong
…For being afraid of the darkness
Because then I could be in the sunlight

2009?

2009 was the year that I would never forget. Because its the year that taught me a lot of things. I learned that everything happens for a reason, and that you can't stop it. Everything happens for a reason so you should forgive and forget. When you really like someone, you would be happy if they found someone they liked and not be jealous. I learned not to take anything for granted because the things you take for granted maybe taken away from you in a blink of an eye. Somethings you take for granted, like water. Some people don't have clean water to drink. I learned to forgive and forget because the past is the past, you can't change it. Sometimes you cant trust everyone in your life, and somethings you should keep to yourself. Because at the end of the day, the person that is most loyal to you is yourself. Wishes and karma are real! So always be careful for what you wish for because it might just come true. I learned in 2009 that you should be thankful for whatever you have. Because somethings you have are beyond someone elses dream.